


Astronomy In Reverse {it was me who was discovered}

by maybetomorrow



Series: Atlas: Space [3]
Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: A little bit of hurt, A lot of comfort, Corvus - Freeform, Established Relationship, F/M, Guys I think I've figured out the religious structure and names I like best for my fics, Neil deGrasse Tyson is a gift to this universe, Stargazing, Venus - Freeform, kind of, you'll see - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-13
Updated: 2017-04-13
Packaged: 2018-10-18 14:56:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,112
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10619307
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maybetomorrow/pseuds/maybetomorrow
Summary: {Venus}orOn the anniversary of a Kryptonian holiday, Kara finds herself more down than usual.  Mon-El knows just what she needs -- a little piece of home.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so this one had a mind of it's own. It was gonna be fluffy but that didn't happen...
> 
> If you're gonna listen to Venus while reading, maybe wait to press play until they go to the training room together. It just works better that way, I think.

“At first I thought you were a constellation.

I made a map of your stars, then I had a revelation:

You’re as beautiful as endless.

You’re the universe I’m helpless in.

An astronomer at my best

when I throw away the measurements.

Like a telescope,

I will pull you so close

’til no space lies in between. 

And suddenly I see you.”

— “Venus,” Sleeping At Last

 

It was Kara’s least favorite time of year. 

She was in the room where they’d kept her mother’s hologram.Again.It had been months since she’d sat in here, talking to her mother’s consciousness.Not since she needed to speak to both of her parents about Medusa.So much had changed since then.She hadn’t needed them quite as much.And yet, here she was again, knees tucked into her arms as she sat against the wall, doing whatever she could to hear her mother’s voice. 

She asked about anything she could think about.She tried to get her mother to tell her a story, read the constitution, and tell her everything there was to know about her uncle.It wasn’t really about any of the information.It was just not to feel alone.Not that she really _was_ alone.She had friends.And family.And Mon-El.She didn’t _need_ to talk to her mother. 

Still, Kara didn’t know how to go about it.How to say she was having a tougher time than usual, even though it’d been so long ago.The Festival of Rao had always been a celebration of the lives of those who had joined Rao’s light for eternity.But now there were so many who had fallen, and the more time passed, the more it weighed on her.And she didn’t want anyone to have to bear that with her.

She was at least grateful that she had her mother.It felt more like she was honoring the traditions as best she could when her mother was speaking.So that was why she holed herself away, feeling more lost than usual after what should have been a perfectly normal day. 

And it had been a normal day.She and Mon-El had made breakfast in relative peace in the morning.Then they were off fighting side by side, in what could only be the most standard of days as Supergirl.And deep down, Kara knew she should be happy — that she _was_ happy.Most of the time.But she needed time to process through the hell-storm of emotions that she’d gone through this week.All the things she had repressed.She needed to let herself cope.

The worst part was she knew she would feel better if she just cried.If she just let it all out, she could cope and process and move on.For a while at least.But she’d spent every day leading up to it trying to keep it all down to the point that she wasn’t sure if she even could release the floodgates.

“Mother, can you sing me one of your favorite songs?”

“I’m sorry, Kara.I don’t have information about favorite songs.”

“Could you sing a song from Krypton?” she tried again, through a tightening in the throat.It was always like this with her mother now.Her trying to maintain any semblance of normalcy, talking with a hologram who looked and sounded like Alura but who didn’t _feel_ — not really.Every word of emotion felt like her mother was trying to anticipate what Kara wanted her to say, not what she truly felt. 

“Yes, Kara.”Her mother began singing, and Kara wondered if her programming was just so precise, or if her mother had anticipated that she would need to hear these songs.Had she recorded herself, or was it just the consciousness doing its job?How much of her mother was _really_ standing in front of her?

Kara tried her best to let her feelings out, to process through it, but it wasn't working.

She could hear Mon-El’s footsteps outside the door, and she was suddenly very grateful that he hadn’t decided to interrupt.When her mother finished the song, his paces stopped.Kara called out to him anyway.

“It’s okay, Mon-El, you can come in.”

“I’m sorry,” he said, peeking his head through the door, but not daring to intrude any further.“I know you need some space right now, but I just wanted to make sure you were okay — you know, in case you needed anything.”

She smiled at him softly and patted the ground next to her.

“Are you sure?” he asked.

“I’m sure.”

She waited until he was seated next to her before she spoke to her mother again.

“Mother, could you sing the Hymn of the Fallen?”

“Of course, my child,” her mother said.Kara took a deep breath as the humming began.She slipped her hand in Mon-El’s and rested the side of her head on his shoulder.As her mother sang the melody — Kryptonian spoken gently, like a lullaby — Kara continued with the hummed harmony she had learned as a child, when knowing the words could not stop her from singing.

The song drew to a close faster than was to her liking. 

“Do you feel better, Kara?” Alura asked.

“Yes.Thank you,” Kara replied.

“You are welcome, my daughter.” 

“Goodbye, Mom,” she said.Then the hologram shut off.

Kara lifted her head from Mon-el’s shoulder and rested it against the wall, preparing mentally to open up and explain herself, even if just a little bit.

“I’m sorry, I haven’t been myself lately.”She had shut him out twice already today when he tried to check on her.It was yet another thing grating on her emotions today.She should not have dismissed him.Not when he cared so much.Not when he could understand what she was feeling.

“It’s okay.I know you miss home.I feel that way, too — often.You don’t need to hide your homesickness from me.”

“It gets easier, I promise,” she assured him.It was easy to forget that he was still processing his own losses.He made it look so much easier, but she was never sure if that was because he coped better or because he was repressing it.

“It may feel like that, but I know there will be days when I’ll feel like I’m _drowning_ in it.Days I’ll regret leaving or days I will wish I could skip.Today is one of those days for you, isn’t it?”

She nodded.

“The Festival of Rao?”He asked, greeted with the swift assurance of her continued nod. She wasn’t surprised he knew it.The more she learned of him, the less truly shocked her.“We had something like that on Daxam.Although perhaps less reverent.”She smiled, the sensation of a rising laugh fixing itself within her chest, struck down too soon to reach to the surface.

“Can I show you something?” he asked, still clutching her hand. 

“Of course.”

“Good.”He pulled her up and led her through the DEO, away from the prying glances of the agents around them.He stopped her in their main training room.

“I’ve been working on this for a while.For when I have one of those days.It’s not perfect, and it’s not the real thing but —”

“What is it?”

“Here, lay down.”When she did, he placed a device the size and shape of a cable box, on the floor by her feet and held a remote in his hand.“Close your eyes.”

She did.She heard the remote beep, and a soft whirring came from the device.Then she felt him settling by her side, their arms connected from shoulder to fingertips.She slid her hand into his while she waited in the darkness, glad to have something to hold onto.

“Okay, open,” he said.

When she looked up at the ceiling, she saw the room shrouded in red tinted light.Constellations rested upon every corner of the walls with each star gleaming.And at the center of it all —

“Rao.”

“It’s the view from Daxam, but everything is still there.Even if it isn’t quite the same.I just thought you might like to see it.”

“It’s perfect.”

“It’s no substitute for the real thing,” he began to ramble, dismissing .“On clear nights with a telescope I can see most of our system’s brightest bodies, but —Seeing it like _this_ just makes me feel like I’m back there.That everything is how it was supposed to be, and everything is in its place.Like see —” He pointed to a bright blue light to the right of Rao. “Gienah stands in her rightful place.And Kraz, too.”He moved his finger to point at a smaller but still bright yellow star further away.

Kara’s eyes were drawn to a second red star, to the far left of the room.“Is that Minkar?” she asked.When Mon-El nodded she squeezed his hand in eagerness.“I used to watch Minkar dancing with Rao in the midwinter sky.”For a moment, visions of the two stars as they appeared from her window flashed across her mind.“So often I stayed up long after my parents had put me to sleep and gazed at them.”She grew breathless, struck by the way this new projection was soothing the open wounds she’d spent the last few days trying to ignore.Talking to her mother had brought some relief, but that was nothing compared to immersing herself in those all-surrounding patterns she thought she had forgotten.

Mon-El smiled over at her, pointing out more of the stars in their system.“And then the ever-present siblings — Algorel and Alkhiba,” he said, guiding her to two white stars moving from different sides of the night sky.

“The stars look so different from your side of the galaxy,” she marveled.

“Just hold on a second,” he said in a soft whisper as she stared intently at the projections.She was trying to memorize them all over again.The same universe from a different viewpoint.Like she was standing in someone else’s shoes for the first time.They seemed so real, that for a while it was easy to pretend she was back home, stargazing. 

“This is my favorite part,” he said, pointing to the corner of the room as a dark orb of deep yellow crept across the wall.

“Is that —?”

“Krypton.”

Kara held in a breath as she watched it sweep across the ceiling.The planet disappeared behind Rao and reappeared a few minutes later.She watched in stunned silence, tears brimming, until Krypton disappeared completely against the opposite wall, completing its orbit out of sight.She turned to look at him when it was gone, watching as his eyes flitted across the entire room, taking in everything he could.

When she caught her breath, she rolled onto her side and reached for his cheek. 

“Thank you,” Kara whispered, pressing her lips against his.She let the kiss linger as long as she could.And at first, when she pulled back, she kept her eyes closed, enjoying the feeling of their shared breaths, warm against her face.Being this close to him never failed to make her happy.

She pulled further back so she could really see him, watching a small, sweet smile rise from his lips as he looked at her.Somehow, it made everything else seem just a little better, like the whole room was brighter.With a smile of her own, Kara dragged her hand down to his chest and curled closer towards him to rest her head over his heart.He squeezed her other hand, still intertwined with his at their sides.

She could feel the tears she’d been keeping away coming back up to the surface.Less tainted with pain, and more with relief.Because she wasn’t alone and everything would be okay. 

“You know I’m always here when you need to talk about it, right?” he asked.

“I do,” she hummed, letting her voice crack, just a little.She traced circles against him, knowing he would be waiting when she was ready to talk.But for now, watching their galaxy unfolding in front of them — reminding herself that all their stars were _still there_ — it was enough.

Mon-El pulled his arm away, letting go of her hand to wrap around around her shoulder — welcoming her closer into his side.She curled as close to him as she could, wracked with a small quiver as she felt a flood overcoming her.

If he noticed the tears staining his shirt when she finally let herself loose, he didn’t say a thing.

**Author's Note:**

> All the star names are the proper names (including alt. spellings) of stars in Corvus, cause I got reading about Neil deGrasse Tyson and LHS 2520 being Rao and then I ran with it...
> 
> Let me know your thoughts. And hang out with me on tumblr: karadanversprince  
> Love you to Krypton and back!


End file.
